:: Monday, June 14, 2004 ::

months go by again - what have i learned this time? when i have not been out here it means nothing other than i am too entrenched in the everyday living of life to speculate on it. my months take on an unrealistic quality of years. i lavish the time with people instead of this computer that usta be my only comfort, my only expression.

i have been expressing other ways. expressing love, expressing commitment, expressing my aliveness. tapping into hearts & souls - being a dream maker, a muse. i find myself as a new woman each day, bigger than i ever dreamed. today the tears rolled down my cheeks as i looked into eyes of men & women whose souls had been bared, egos silenced, lives jump-started. i knew myself as someone who was at cause. a lifetime of talking the talk & finally feeling the soles of my feel solid on the ground with each step as i walk the walk. created in the goddess' image just like everyone else but finally knowing it - owning it - taking it on. acknowledging how human i am in my own victories even ... i weep with passion. i am them - they are me - we simply exist in separate bodies but we are all of the same time & space & dimension.

i love. i love deep & with a magnitude that no obstacle can stop. i am a force to be reckoned with. a soft, tender, vulnerable, powerful fire buring brightly through the darkness. my eyes focus like a laser to find life in other eyes. i laugh from my soul now. & i stand & stand & stand & when i am exausted standing for others i stand more.

you are my proof that anything is possible. when it feels like pain i know it is just a deepening of my spirit. when it feels like ecstacy i know that it is just a deepening of my passion. it is sacred my love for you. i can feel it all but my feelings do not run me, my committment does. my committment that you always be in the light - that you always are free - that you always experience safety & love. my veins fill with my committment for you, my committment for us as a unique partnership - pumping through me no matter what. so much bigger than me - my committment - my love for you. i choose over & over & over & over again, never tired of choosing you - breathing life into me each time i choose you again.

and today as i faced those other men & women who i had stood for in the very face of no agreement, tears rolling down my face as i got my contribution to them & their contribution to me & i acknowledged you, across the room, the one who first had me know what being a stand really is. you will touch millions of lives through me - people you will never know, to depths you can never imagine - each of them receiving love from me only because you - my mirror, my soul's connection to reality - give me space to expand in. i honor you. i cherise us. you are my opening to freedom.

the world is fortunate that you are in my life - my catalyst without which i would never know the bigness of others. laugh with me - my partner in light - it is not serious - it is sheer pleasure what our stregnths create together. wildness of the perfect order merged together to shift everyone we connect with - world altering that starts with my love for you & procreates limitless in the world. i am who i am in spite of myself & proportunate to who i get to be with you.

the world has no chance of regressing, people have no chance of being unloved ... not as long as i am alive and continue to choose you. there are no accidents - we have been placed here in this life together to shift the world & each other. and all of this felt, all of this said - i choose you again.


:: Kym 12:57 AM [+] ::
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