:: Tuesday, July 15, 2003 ::

a dream-maker ... i am a dream-maker.
:: Kym 11:45 PM [+] ::
...

"freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose" i usta' wail that song with janis joplin playing on the stereo ... i don't know if i really got the lyrics - i think i was lost in some young fantasy then ...

but now, i got the meaning behind the lyrics - so like that - like giving up all my games & bullshit & fear of looking bad to have freedom - not even my possessions (they are so trivial compared to giving up my ego-stuph) but the image i always felt i had to keep up. when i am willing to give it up - to get real then i truly have nothing to lose. it is a whole new game of freedom.

comfortable? not always. hell no. really uncomfortable as a matter of a fact. but the cost of not giving it up is so much higher now than the reward of giving it up ...

i choose freedom - my whole life i have wanted to be free - i just never got that i only had to give my crap up & choose freedom to be free. it is so simple & i have invested a lifetime into making it hard if not impossible, constrained only by myself. it is done. not free from people. not free from things. free from me.

nothing left to lose i am free. now.
:: Kym 1:44 AM [+] ::
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